Dreams Are All We Have

It pains me to see you like this. It hurts to know that I can't be there to aid you or help you go through this pain. If anything I would like to do in this world, that would be to comfort you no matter what. It is more important to see the happiness in another than yourself, that's my motto. I wish that I would be able to just make you feel better, the ability that when you see my your pain goes away because that how you make me feel. You take away all the eyes that are looking down upon me. I do understand times can be rough, times can be hard, but just imagine how times would be like when we are together. Time when we are able to yell at each other and be cranky of our old age. Times where we don't need to worry about time left, but rather how to spend the remain time happy (if that makes any sense). Time where we are free to enduge in the pleasures of life. That is what my dream is to be able to be with you forever. If all we have are dream, and if this is all I have, and if you sad. Then I guess I have nothing....

soaring

All I want to do is "just fly away".

The ability to be able to leave any situation, the ability of being able to just "fly" but rather than run. Because when one runs they are only hiding still staying on the same surface unable to achieve greatness. Rather than the ability to fly, where one is able to fly anywhere, anyplace or even anytime they choose.

Why do I want to fly, I want to fly because I want understand my past better to be able to finally understand who I really am.

As of recently, I have just discovered that it wasn't my mom who wanted to leave but my grandma who wanted my mom to leave of the reason of that she never took care of me and cared more about her family in china. Why am I ranting, because I need to unleash all these bottled up feeling. Wher at one point I'll be see free from my past and purist my greatness or "happyness"

But all I want is just for these feelings to go away because they are the reason why I've been set back so much.

So listen to these beatboys and free my soul. All I want is to rock and roll and drift away.

Away to a place of haven...

Forgive and Forget?

Is it possible to forgive and forget?

I personally dont believe it is. Maybe its just me rant just a bit, but ehh. I mean i understand the forgive part because people dont tend to hold grudges all of their life, even the girl in the grudge let goes of her (or at least from what i remember). But is it possible to forget? Since what ever happened makes you who you are, how would one be able to forget something? the capability of forgetting would be contradicting the ideal of forgive, because its impossible to forget something when it never happened or you never forgave it.

Well anyways to recap today? It was pretty awesome, even though i have a feeling that amy's parents hate me, and i think jessie too. But ehh, what can i say? I guess i dont make good first impressions and i think jessie is just taking anger out on me. right now i'm reading amy's speech thing, and it helps because it makes me realize what i have infront of me, and how i shouldn't take her for granted. beacuse she is truly awesome, by making everyone happy and just want to tell her that she has saved me. and i truly thank her. And i just want to tell her thank you.


Bloggie i hope everything with her is alright, maybe you can fluff her pillow at night so she can get a good night sleep. and maybe come early for kc meeting, and if you can ask your friend "dream" to give her a good one tonight. you might ask me why?, its because i love her, so take care of her tonight? na wait everynight?


-Fluff those pillows.

Forever?

Dear Bloggie.

It has finally come across to me, that i've begun to question friendship. The thought of the year ending coming to an end, has began the recalling of the year, the memories and the love. With all of this in mind, it also brings on the on coming summer, where friendships die down and things just become a thing in the past.

Somethings have been bugging me. such as how people can really instigate on how friendship last for ever, but how can that be true? its like stating that flowers (metaphorical friendship) can last forever without the proper care and really just care.

It makes me question on what the future brings. *sigh* maybe its just the heat thats getting to me. But all i know is that i really can wait for the summer to come, it might be out of the ordinary. but to be honest, i rather have school and friends then no school and no one. maybe this is why i have affection towards school, and some what look forward to what it brings. maybe this is the true side of me, the side that only you get to see bloggie, because no one ever takes the effort to get to know people anymore.

:[June]:

So it begins. The crazy hectic month of regents/hanging out and sweaty nasty work. Ah I can smell the oil right now.

But in all gravity. i'm currently worried that if i'll be able to mange my time. But screw that its not a post about all the bad things, but rather about the single good thing in my life right now HER. Bloggie, she's so awesome, i'd love for you to meet her one day. Even you would jump out of the computer screen just to get a closer look at her, just because she's so god damm beautiful. I miss her, bloggie. i hate work it tears up apart. But i have to do it. To prove something and to get ready for the college life? Only 26 days left of offical school, but really only 2 more weeks till regents. Am i ready for this changelle.

Well to tell you the true, i'm scared and nervous of what the future hold in front of me. but i know i can get through it as long as shes holding my hand saving me.

So June, come at me with full blast.
and plus get warmer so i can see her in short shorts :] <3

ugh. bloogie this makes me sad. i have to sleep soon, that means time to pretend to dream, because i already have everything i ever wanted in her.


oh.three.two.six.oh.eight. >3

Sorry Bloggie

Sorry I've mistreated you.
Bloggie i've found her. she means the world to me, and maybe i can show her the world, too, one day. I love her. <3
3 26 08

Dear Bloggie.

Please Just Shut The Fuck Up.

Gone. Will I Ever Come Back? Probably Not. So Farewell.

Happy Christmas

I might be a bit late on the holiday season, but it's alright. It's alright because now I'm feeling it. Maybe it was the snow, just maybe.

Maybe I dream of Christmas as white, pure, happiness. Thats what happened to me today Bloggie.
It snowed! I kept my promise, and I was with the person who makes happy. I was so happy that i didn't even feel cold. Maybe my heart was beating so hard that it kept me warm. Just maybe.

Sorry bloggie for not posting in a long time. I felt that nothing else was important. Sorry once again.

Butterflies

Butterflies are all I feel.
The excitement in my stomach.
The thrill of flying.
The thrill she gives me.

Today was good. Finally a good day coming around. It seems karma has worked its magic. The magic I enjoy.

Back to the butterflies. They feel all nice and warm, the feeling of warmth and comfort. This feeling that I have yet to feel in a while. The feeling that I'm safe. And I'm safe in her arms. As long as those arms are there I'll be fine.

Just Pull The Trigger Already

Let this misery end.
Let this pain go away.
Let this memory vanish.
Let this become a new start.
Let this new start become history.
Let this history become remember at all times.

Just pull the trigger so then this all can end, and hopefully society would be better off. As on that cue, it tells me to go. Go and fly. Fly and wander. Wander into depths where i cant survive. But yet i still wander because this is what i want, all i want to be is in pain. I want my body to feel the pain as my feelings do. I want my karma to work out already. I want to be able to see the sunshine after a rain storm. But everyday in my books its raining, and not just rain but blood, the blood from my heart. The heart that was never worth it, the heart that'll never see the brightness of light again, again


untill you ........

So this is it?

This is the end of regents week ehh?
It seemed to go by so fast. It seemed like as if only been 2 days has passed by, because I guess those were the only "good" days.
Well last night, I had this weird dream bloggie, maybe you'll understand it.

Well it started off great, everything seemed fine, then it went terribly wrong. It felt as if i lost everything i ever cared about. It felt as if the blood in my heart was pouring out drip by drip, until it was dry then it was pull out. It felt as if i have lost all hope. Towards the end of the dream i've become death. and blind and that when i woke up, and it felt so real. people say dreams are a foreshadow of a person's life, is this what is planned for me? Is this my destiny to lose everything i have, to become a miserable man always in pain?

Well now at least i have memories, and hopefully they'll never leave me. Hopefully i'll make even better ones and hopefully i'll have my heart again. So then i can love once again, but as for now, i'm just an emotional-less person always in pain.


Pain doesn't hurt........ when its all you ever felt.

I Know I Said I Wouldn't

I know I'm not suppose to post anymore. but today it was just horrible. so horrible only maybe you can understand Mr.bloggie. All i need is some time with someone who can understand and listen. All i need is for my parents to understand that time has changed. All i need is for my head and my heart to work together. All of this i need, but will i ever get....



FUCKING HELL NO

beacuse life is just a bitch.

Will You Remember?

Will you remember?
Will you really remember?

This post discusses the fact of remembrance. The fact of the end of ever year or every day. What would you be remembered for? Will you be remembered as the nerd, the hot guy, the popular person, the joker, the loser? What will you be remembered for? As for me what will I be remembered for is the fact that I'm an lazy Asian who tried to please everyone, who wrote on this blog for the last 2 weeks. But here the comes the catch, is will someone ever remember me? Will they truly beable to remember my face 10 years from now and still be able to recall my name and memories? Will they be able to say that we were once great friends or we were once lovers? Will they be able to remember all of this? Now comes the hard part, what will you do to make them remember? Just remember live every day as it was the last, so ask yourself will you be remembered?

This will probably be my last entry.
So Good Bye my fellow friends
Live life and prosper I know you can,

Let fate guild you ♥

Is It Worth It?

Is it worth the chase?
Is it worth the hype?
Is it worth the prize?
Is it worth the memory?
Is it worth the tears?
Is it worth the pain?

So it all comes down is it worth it? Today I realize this, and I wonder is it worth it? Is it worth my effort? Was these past weeks ever worth it? Was this a big plot just to hurt my self, fate? My prize is differently worth it, but the question is will I ever achieve it? Will I ever be good enough, Will i ever be able to overcome the past and move on?

Will I be able?

Will I be able to break free?
Will I be able live my life?
Will I be able to love?
Will I be able to give it my all?
Will I be able to be good enough?

Will I be able to.... Will I? People say that nothing is impossible is that really true? If nothing is impossible then why does it seem that it's always impossible? Why are people more pessimistic than optimistic? People always want to say something, but they just end up either lying or holding it in. People these days believe that by keeping it in they are saving the other person from the truth. But they are just holding them back from reality, and if we can't face reality then we cant face the world. So let the truth flow through me so then I'm able to...

Team SF .:[Akuma]:. 天

Why am I here?

If fate runs our lives, does that mean fate controls our lives? Then why question religion or yourself, when you should be questioning fate? Why does fate bring us love, when all it does is tear our hearts apart. Does fate have a plan for all of us? Does it already know what I want in life? Does it know my feelings or my thoughts? Does it really control our lives?

If it does and it has a plan for all of us. Then why am I here? Lets say when i grow up I'm going to become nothing, then why bother and not just end it now, fate? According to someone dear "we are all here to make someone happy, and someone else is here to make me happy." Well now i guess it time to please people.


"Hello, my name is pillow fluffer"
"It's nice to meet you"
"Maybe we can be friends and I can make you laugh"
"Lets make this last forever"


Fate = Hope = Dreams = Achievement = Love = Love ♥

I wanna know

This week has been weird, everyone lately has been less social due to finals. It seems like everything is going by so fast, and to think about it 12 days ago (less than 2 weeks) it was 2007! To think of it these last 12 days have been really long but yet some how fast. 4 and 1/2 months are school are done. To think about it only 5 and a couple of days of school left. Does it feel like time flies by so fast? Like its 10pm right now, and i thought i just came home. (insert sigh).

So relating to the title "I wanna know"
i want to know all the answers in the world
i want to know the secrets of love
i want to know the secrets of life
i want to know how did the power rangers get their superpowers
i want to know how does time travel work
i want to know how to be happy
i want to know how to make you smile. laugh
i want to know how to achieve my dreams
i just want to know....

Will you be there?

Will you be there when I'm scared?
Will you be there when I'm confused?
Will you be there when I'm down?
Will you be there when I fall?
Will you be there when I need you the most?
Will you be there when it all ends?

I'll be here waiting.
Come and save me from this fairy tale.

Arg

I hate people call anyone an "emo". They call people emo because of maybe their haircut, clothes, and style of music/fashion? How would you like to be called skinhead wanna-be gangster trying to act black? I guess I hate people who stereotype without logic involved ( I call those people ignorant), even though I do it. But I do it for fun and I guess it just gets on my nerves when people calling a band emo because their songs have emotion in it. Does that mean anyone that has some sort of emotion is emo? Lets take for instance a rap song, doesn't that depict emotion so then therefore I guessed it called emo as well? What about people who are more openly to share their emotions are emo's too? Why because they have emotions? Then what the FUCK are you? A non emotional stick?

So grow a pair and live life as it is, not judging people or things by it cover.

Aerials

Today was interesting, but sadly I wasn't the only one in shorts. At least one of my goals have been accomplished to wear shorts during the winter, and not look at like a complete insane person.

Referring to the title of "Aerials", I want to know, is the jump worth it? Is it worth falling, worth risking it all? Is it worth it, if you succeed then yes of course, but what if you fail and end up in a miserable state. Is it worth it?

What I'm really asking is it better to aim high and miss or aim low and make it?

Everything's Magic

"Just sit back and hold on, but hold on tight
Prepare for the best and the fastest ride
And reach out your hand, and i'll make you mine
Everything, everything's magic
Everything, everything's magic"

Today I learned the value of karma, and felt it at full blast. Nothing really happened today I just come to realize how many people in our school are "gay" or "bi" or whatever. I'm not against it or anything, but it just made me think. Not much to say. so I'll leave on a positive note

"come on trolley lets go to the land of make believe."

RIP Mr. Roger

Just a bit at a time.

Daisuki da yo, Anata ni aitai.